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Post by plzkthnks on Aug 19, 2012 21:56:00 GMT 1
“What is this place?” asked Malfoy, a bit of his curiosity managing its way into his voice—or maybe it was simply the question itself. Either way, Harry smiled a bit, stepping in behind him and shutting the door. It vanished, as it usually did; Harry had learned after repeated use that the Room of Requirement did exactly what you wanted it to—if you didn't want anyone else to get in, it would change to fit that desire. Bloody brilliant, especially considering why Harry usually used it.
“The Room of Requirement,” he answered, looking at Malfoy. “Or the Come-and-Go room.”
He shrugged a bit, his eyes flicking to the room again, taking in its changes.
“It's my practice room,” he continued, knowing that Malfoy wanted more than just a vague answer. And giving him more of a description would lead into why Harry asked him to meet there, which would be a welcome distraction. “Well, most of it is, anyways. It's changed because you're here.”
He motioned with his hand, nodding at the bookshelves and clearing. His eyes lingered on the random door. Unlike the other one, it hadn't disappeared and Harry's curiosity peaked.
“I don't know what that is, though—it's new.”
His eyes remained focused on it for a moment longer and he shrugged. They would have time to explore in a minute. He turned back to Malfoy, diving right in.
“I wanted to know if you'd help me practice,” Harry said, the words slightly rushed. He grimaced a bit at how it sounded—desperate. He didn't need Malfoy's help—he simply wanted it. And while he was afraid that the other would turn his offer down, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Depending on others had taught him that. People disappointed, almost always, but life continued. He continued, as if it really needed explaining. “Wandless magic, of course.. I am getting better—err, mostly at offensive magic, but some defensive, too. And I thought.. well, maybe I could help you, too.”
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Post by loekie on Aug 19, 2012 22:34:59 GMT 1
Taking in the answer to his question he nodded looking around “I’ve read about this place” he muttered as he glanced around once again. He had never thought he would actually get a chance to see this place. The blonde boy listened to the rest of his explanation glancing over at the things the other motioned towards that had changed. He nodded slightly before he following the other’s eyes towards the mysterious door that had not disappeared like the door they had come through had. How odd… he glanced over almost sensing the curiosity from the other boy wondering how long it would take before they were going to investigate that.
Frowning Draco turned his head back to the Gryffindor. Was he serious? Was he really asking for his help? That would have to be a firs right? He thought this through for a moment as really why would he decline? The blonde ran a hand through his hair overthinking the other’s proposal for a while. It wasn’t even that he didn’t want to do it. He wouldn’t mind helping the other practice his wand-less magic. It was just that he was also aware he needed to make sure he was going to keep this from his father.
This room would help though, as he knew his father also did not know where this room was. Eventually the blonde just nodded his head “All right Potter” he agreed “I’ll help you practice” he said knowing the other even had a point in that it might help him in some way as well “How far exactly have you gotten so far?” he asked leaning against a wall his eyes scanning the room again. It would indeed do well as a training-room. He just wondered if Potter wanted to start immediately. He wasn’t sure how much he would be able to do tonight, after the previous few nights with his father… but really he was going to try and push himself if it came down to it. He really wasn’t ready to admit defeat and let anyone know just how bad things really were.
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Post by plzkthnks on Aug 19, 2012 22:53:28 GMT 1
Relief washed over Harry as Malfoy answered. He was glad, happy even, something he hadn't really felt in a while. If he stopped to think about it, every time he had felt any sort of happiness, recently, it had been because of the blond-haired boy. So he didn't stop to think about it because stopping to think about it would make it too real, too frightening. He knew he was depending on Malfoy here, no matter how much he tried telling himself otherwise—but if he thought about it, well—that was too much right then.
“Thanks,” he said, grinning a bit. His grin wavered as Malfoy leaned against the wall—he looked as poised and confident as ever, but there was something off about his posture. Harry shrugged it off, making a note to ask him if he were okay before the night was over. He didn't want to push it too far, too soon.
“I don't really know how to explain it,” he said, shrugging a bit. Most of the wandless magic he had practiced had been out of sheer reflex. There were very few actual spells involved—he simply urged it to be and then focused on making it happen. “Maybe I could show you?”
He waited for the other to reply and then moved a bit further away, nervousness fluttering near his heart as he stepped into the clearing. This was the first time he had deliberately tried practicing his magic in front of another person—he had thought he had prepared himself for that moment, but now the pressure was on, and he remembered that night with Parkinson. He hoped desperately that it had been a fluke, that he had just been too exhausted. He was starting to regret not trying this before he had went to Malfoy—he should have made sure he still needed the help before asking for it.
Exhaling slowly, very aware that his nervousness no doubt showed, he glanced at Malfoy, not quite meeting his eyes, and then stared at the floor. He thought of Hermione, their conversation—he thought of how she wanted him to cut Malfoy out of his life, be less trusting and more on guard with everyone but her and Ron. He could feel the nervousness change, shift, and then it was buried under irritation, anger. He thought of Voldemort, of what he had taken from him and everyone else—he thought of Lucius and how Malfoy not be okay, and how corrupt everything was—how he couldn't help, no matter how he wanted to—and then he closed his eyes, mentally releasing his anger slowly, channeling it into his desires.
The first few things were automatic; the furniture shifted, some of it lifting up and spinning around him, and a few baubles shattered. He was careful not to overdo it, relief mingling with his anger—and he opened his eyes, his focus clearer than it had been before. He looked at Malfoy and let his magic expand, wrap around him, and then his vision was blurred. His magic was literally around him, a slight current, barely visible, blurring his vision with its power. He exhaled slowly, forcing it out and around—it started as a wall but turned into a sphere, expanding and moving until it swallowed Malfoy, too, and Harry was suddenly very aware of the other's own magic—he could feel it, sense it, and then it was gone and Harry practically gasped, his surprise written across his face as he saw just how not okay Malfoy really was.
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Post by loekie on Aug 19, 2012 23:56:11 GMT 1
Was that relieve he saw flash across his face? Happiness even? Was that real or had he just imagined it? It was not something that he had ever expected the other to feel around him, except for possibly when if he would have died. Oh yes, these past few months had been a pain… it had forced him to have to reevaluate everything and had left him in the care of someone else. He had always thought to be able to just do everything alone. He had for so long and now this was turning his whole world upside down. But then, why wasn’t he more frightened? Why wasn’t he telling the other to piss off and leave him alone? He sighed inwardly a bit confused and knowing he needed to stop thinking about this. It was quite simply the way it had happened and he couldn’t turn back the hands of time no matter how much he might want to. He glanced over at Potter “You’re welcome” he replied.
The boy nodded “All right” he agreed as really that was the only way he was going to see how far along the other boy was. He glanced up and just simply waited for the other boy to prepare for what he was about to do. Oh how he remembered his lessons…. It had been quite a long time ago… but he remembered them oh soo well. They had been painful and relentless, but eventually he had gotten the hang of it and he had been able to get it under control. He knew that it was rather strange… but it was one of the few lessons he had perhaps semi enjoyed if only because he enjoyed the power that surged through him. The blonde had been so glad once he had been able to get some control over it. He ran a hand through his hair watching the dark-haired boy.
Potter seemed nervous… that was something they needed work on… He noticed the other was not meeting his eyes. The nervousness quickly turned into irritation and then turned to anger. He could only guess as to what imagines were going through the other’s mind. The blonde pushed himself from the wall he was leaning against and watched. It wasn’t long before furniture shifted; some of it was lifted into the air and started spinning around the boy. Green eyes opened and the next thing that was seen was the other’s magic surrounding him. It quickly expanded throughout the room, eventually engulfing the blonde boy as well mixing with his own magic. He glanced up at the other as the dark-haired boy gasped in surprised. Had he not expected it to work? What he hadn’t seen yet was that whatever it was the other boy had done had changed his own magic, even if only for a minute or so and the glamour charm he was using had wavered exposing his injuries.
The black eye, blood that had come from his split lip, bruises, burns and cuts on his cheeks and littered across the rest of his face, blood that had run down the side of his head from where he had hit the wall and floor the other two nights. He took a deep breath just glad the rest of his injuries were hidden behind his clothes. Bruises burns and cuts ran all across his body, broken ribs and welts that littered his back. He sighed just hoping the other would somehow miraculously just let it go….
[[Hope it doesn't dissapoint too much....
*smiles*
hope you slept well!]]
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Post by plzkthnks on Aug 20, 2012 4:06:34 GMT 1
Malfoy looked horrible and that was, practically, the understatement of the century. He could only imagine what else was wrong with the boy, what was wrong that he couldn't see—Harry's eyes darkened and it was at that moment that something shifted. He still had perfect control over his anger, had it under a tight reign, but the anger that was out had intensified; the furniture slammed against the walls, much of it breaking, pieces suspending themselves in mid-air, and Harry's force field brightened, forcing itself out and pressing against the walls. There was a wind, now, and Harry could feel it against his skin, almost burning, and his eyes met Malfoy's. He adverted his gaze, carefully, and tried focusing.
He swore that, if Malfoy didn't do something, he would. He would kill Lucius if he needed to—there wasn't a doubt in his mind and that was moderately frightening in itself. He focused on the turned over book-shelf, surprised at how little focus or effort it took—it lifted into the air within a single instant and erupted in flames. He watched the destruction in silence and channeled his anger into having the fire disappate—it disappeared almost instantly and he was mildly surprised at how easy and natural it suddenly came. He exhaled slowly, finally, and pulled his magic in, the furniture dropping to the floor. Pieces of it were still suspended, imbedded in the cushioned wall, and his force field was gone. Exhaustion felt in, but it was the best he had felt for a while, adrenaline surging through his veins.
He looked to Malfoy, expressionless, and moved closer. He stopped just a pace in front of him, his eyes meeting his in a pointed look much stronger than usual. There was no pity, just concern, and he imagined it was evident in his gaze. He frowned a bit, and suppressed the urge to reach out, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt.
It took him a long moment to speak, his voice hard but gentle at the same time.
“What else?”
It was a simple enough question, and usually, Harry wouldn't expect an answer—and, if he thought about it, that hadn't changed. But he did expect Malfoy to realize that this wasn't going away, no matter how much he tried avoiding it.
((Sorry it's so short, dear! But I hope it didn't disappoint. Yours was good, btw. It made Harry's heart hurt. Obviously.))
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Post by loekie on Aug 20, 2012 15:07:44 GMT 1
Draco was aware that to the other he had to have looked horrible and as he closed his eyes for a moment he quickly ensured the glamour charm was back in place. The blonde had avoided looking at himself without the glamour charms firmly in place for years now. The injuries now however weren’t the worst he had had though… not by a long shot. He could only imagine though what was going through the other boy’s mind at the moment and once again the blonde berated himself for letting the other boy get this close and figure all this out. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful for the other’s concern, and knowing he cared felt rather nice, strangely enough. Potter however had enough on his plate without him feeling the need to add this to it as well. Heaving an inward sigh he glanced over as he heard the sound of furniture shattering against the wall. Wind started blowing as the green eyes met his before quickly being averted. The young heir really wished there was some way he could convince the other to just leave it alone and let it be. It really wasn’t any of his business and it was most certainly not something the other needed to be bothered with. The blonde was also aware however that Potter, true to his Gryffindor nature could probably not be convinced to let it slide.
Soon pieces of furniture started dropping to the floor and it seemed the dark-haired boy had let most of his anger out. When the other moved towards Draco, closing the distance between them Draco closed his eyes for a moment ‘Here we go’ he thought noting the concern that lay in Potter’s eyes as they made eye-contact yet again. Now though it was Draco’s turn to avert his gaze staring at the floor for a moment in defeat. There was not much the Slytherin could do and he absolutely hated feeling this vulnerable and out of control. It was something that until a few months ago, had only felt when around his father and it had been something he had always detested. It wasn’t something he could blame Potter for though. It was his own weakness and stupidity that had led to this and really the darkhaired wizard only seemed to want to help.
Accepting help though was not something Draco had ever thought of doing and it was so foreign that he really didn’t know what to do. Potter seemed to have finally found his voice asking the logical question of ‘What else?’. All right, so it was clear that he wasn’t going to get out of this one as easily as he had hoped. He heaved a sigh shaking his head “It is not important Potter” he spoke unable to keep all the exhaustion from his voice. He knew it was probably not going to do any good… but he could at least try couldn’t he?
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Post by plzkthnks on Aug 20, 2012 15:29:47 GMT 1
Malfoy did the unexpected. He adverted his eyes, refusing to meet Harry's gaze—he had never seen Malfoy back down like that. A slow ache formed in his chest. He imagined this was how Malfoy had been trained to be—and the rest was just a mask, a show that he had constructed around himself to protect himself and his secret. It was a wall and a part of Harry missed it.. a very small part, but a part nonetheless. He sighed and Harry surveyed him carefully, his anger thrumming beneath the ache.
“It is not important, Potter,” he replied, sounding exhausted—and for once, Harry knew that he didn't imagine that.
Harry shook his head, a crease between his eyes forming, and his voice was quiet.
“How is your life not important?”
It was such a simple question, but behind it came a dozen realizations; Harry realized that that was probably what Malfoy thought. He realized that there was the very real possibility that Malfoy had considered dying—at another hand (like Harry had) or his own. He realized that the idea saddened him—he realized that he would miss Malfoy and he realized the other may think he was a burden. Harry wanted to shout, scream at him that it wasn't true and that he mattered—he wanted to promise he would prove that to him. Instead, he simply exhaled slowly and continued, his voice just as gentle as before.
“You're not a burden, Draco. Please, talk to me—I'm here because I want to be. I want to help you because—” he paused, but only for a moment, realizing that the two had never really vocalized their connection. “—because you are important.. to me.”
((Wowww, for some reason, my mind drew a blank at the end of that.. so I kind of just let it be. Haha. Sowwies! Hope it's manageable, though!))
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Post by loekie on Aug 20, 2012 22:08:00 GMT 1
It seemed he really did not have the energy to really keep up the charade. However he knew he needed to pull it together as really it wasn’t something the other should have to contend with. Besides he didn’t think he could allow himself to lose that much of the persona he had built over the years in order to cope with everything. He really didn’t think he could handle that on top of all this. He sighed slightly as he leaned his head back against the wall that he’d been leaning against. He took a deep breath before just pulling himself together as best he could under the circumstances and he just raised his head when the other spoke in response to his answer. The young Slytherin simply shrugged slightly as really… it wasn’t. He had never really thought it was anyway. It wasn’t as if anyone else had ever really thought it was and truth be told he had often wished that he had never been born in the first place.
Glancing up his grey eyes meeting the others for a moment holding them as the next words sank in. They rang through his brain. He frowned slightly wondering why the other would even care. No-one else had ever said anything like that to him and he really wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He could handle his father’s anger and hatred towards him… this though was something knew. He raised his head slightly glancing up “Why?” he asked his voice soft. Alright sure they had spent quite a bit of time together… that didn’t really mean anything now did it? It certainly didn’t mean he expected the Gryffindor to just simply forget the previous years between them and even though they had buried the hatched and had even spent some time together just having fun he really didn’t mean he expected the other to for some reason care about him.
It was just so surreal. He brushed some hair from his eyes as he tried to wrap his brain around everything. The young Slytherin shook his head as really he couldn’t imagine him not being a burden to the other. It was just something that really couldn’t be true. He couldn’t imagine the dark-haired boy actually being happy to be pulled into the mess that was his life, especially since the Gryffindor’s own life was far from perfect.
[[It was fine sweetie...
this on the other hand...
I'm soo sorry...
I kinda figured Draco would be slightly confused by all of this...
anyways...
I hope it's not too bad....]]
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Post by plzkthnks on Aug 20, 2012 22:54:23 GMT 1
Harry felt a rush of emotion as he voiced his opinion out loud. He knew it didn't make sense—but that didn't make it any less true. Malfoy was important to him, despite the odds, and coming to terms to that would make things easier. He needed to stop trying to deny it and instead, figure out what to do with it. Grey eyes met his and the corner of his mouth twitched. He gave Malfoy a small, barely there smile, which quickly turned into a slight frown as the other finally spoke.
“Why?”
It was a simple question and, in retrospect, Harry should have prepared himself better for it. He thought for a moment, knowing that he needed to answer, that Malfoy needed to hear this. He remembered living with the Dursley's, never knowing that he was important to anyone until Hogwarts, and how his ground had shifted when he realized that he was. It had been so easy for him to accept it—as an eleven year-old boy, he had dreampt about it. He had fantasized about having friends, family, people who wanted him in their life. He had fantasized about feeling something other than worthlessness. He had the sinking feeling, however, that it would not be as easy for Malfoy to accept. His worthlessness ran deeper than Harry's had and Harry wanted desperately to change that.
Harry shrugged, searching for the words and forcing himself to keep his eyes on Malfoy's face.
“You make me feel,” he said finally, trying to be as honest as possible. It was considerably harder than it should be—he wasn't used to talking about these sort of things, wasn't use to vocalizing his thoughts or emotions in such a way. “If I think about it, you always have. You've always had this way of getting under my skin—you push me when no one else can. I guess, if I think about it, you've always been what I needed. First.. I needed someone to keep me focused, remind me of what was beyond these walls—and recently, even though I hate to admit it, I needed a friend. I needed someone to understand. I'd like to think you needed someone, too.”
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Post by loekie on Aug 20, 2012 23:40:26 GMT 1
Still not sure what to think he could see the emotion running through Potter. He didn’t know quite what to make of it. The blonde just didn’t understand how this had happened. How suddenly it seemed that he had formed some sort of connection with his rival. He didn’t understand why, after all these years, and all this work on keeping others at bay, things seemed to have changed so drastically. It was mindboggling to him. Draco had always prided himself on being able to deal with everything on his own and never needing anyone in order to get through is hell-hole of a life. It was something he had always learned. His father’s words ringing in his ears ‘Never depend on others, they will surly disappoint’ or ‘Never let people get too close. It will only serve to get you hurt’ oh and another one of his favorites ‘Never accept help, it is a sign of weakness and unacceptable.’ Oh he had learned that one the hard way… ooh yes.
During the long training sessions… he forced it out of his mind as he glanced back up at the green-eyes boy who had kept eye-contact. Maybe it was time to just simply accept that there was something between the two… something that had perhaps always been there… whatever it was. He patiently waited for Potter to find the words he was looking for in order to be able to explain himself. At first the other had been rather confused and wondering just what the other was thinking. When the boy however finally spoke it actually made sense. As much as he had enjoyed riling up the three friends over the years, and how much fun it had been from time to time to just see how much he could get under their skin… and in particular under the skin of a certain golden boy.
He had to admit though, that the dark-haired boy had always been able to get under his skin too, as much as he hated to admit it. He nodded “I know what you mean” he replied softly before nodding again even though he really didn’t like to admit it… it seemed, for some reason, that indeed lately he had indeed needed someone. How sad really? After all this time… He shook his head slightly. Not really knowing just exactly what to do about this. Could he really allow himself to give into this? Or should he do the smart thing and cut this off before it went too far?
[[hope this is okay??]]
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Post by plzkthnks on Aug 21, 2012 3:54:25 GMT 1
Harry was fairly certain that the first part was fairly true for Malfoy, too. Even though Malfoy did put on one hell of an act, he was fairly certain that he had always managed to get under Malfoy's skin too—at least to a point. Vaguely, he thought of first year, of when Malfoy had offered him his hand. He wondered if it had been a real action, then, an actual request, or if it had been a careful ploy, something his father had put him up to, and he wondered how much would have changed if he had accepted. Where would they be now?
Malfoy nodded and Harry suppressed a smile—at least something he had said had managed to get through. Maybe.
“I know what you mean,” he replied softly. Harry nodded a bit in reply, almost in sink with the light-haired boy.
He studied Malfoy in silence for a long moment, almost too aware of his inward struggle. He could only imagine everything that Malfoy had been through, how many twisted lessons his father had taught him. He couldn't imagine that accepting help came easily to the other and he wasn't sure if that would ever change, but he already knew that he would try regardless. He worried his bottom lip carefully, sighing a bit. This wasn't going away. He wasn't going away. But he imagined there was no point in pushing it right then. He met Malfoy's eyes again, pointedly, as if silently saying his thoughts—I'm not going away, Draco, but I'll let you drop it.. for now. He offered the other a slight smile and changed the subject, “So, do you think you can help me?”
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Post by plzkthnks on Aug 21, 2012 3:55:06 GMT 1
((Sorry my posts are so short, m'dear! But I hope this is okay. Yours most certainly was. -nodnod-))
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Post by loekie on Aug 21, 2012 12:16:09 GMT 1
[[It is not a problem...
Mine is short now too..
*bites lip*
soo sorry...
but I wanted to post quickly before I had to catch the train...
hope it's alright...
It might be a bit rushed...
sorry again...]]
The inner struggle within the blonde raged on for quite some time. It was just something he couldn’t really conceive or really think about for too much or he knew he would drive himself insane. Closing his eyes for a moment he really tried hard to simply pull himself together. Not just for the other boy, but also for himself. He really didn’t think he’d be able to deal with breaking down at this particular moment. It wouldn’t really do either boy any good and so he just needed to work harder in order retain some form of normalcy between the two.
Aware of the other boy studying him he just regained at least some of his composure not wanting to worry the dark-haired boy even further. Oh if only his father could see this: his son trying to be friendly and considerate… not only to the ‘Boy that wouldn’t bloody die already’ but also to a mudblood just about a night before. He could just imagine the look of shock and horror that would cross his father’s face that would then soon be twisted into anger, rage and fury. It would almost be worth a try just for the initial amusement factor.
What had gotten into him lately? Draco had never before really held this rebellious thoughts. Was it that he just really had had enough, or was it the influence of the other boy? He didn’t really want to find out and was content to simply leave that thought behind for now when the other’s voice rang through the room once more. He was relieved and grateful that Potter decided to let it go for now even though the hidden meaning behind his look was certainly not missed. Nodding his blonde head he smiled slightly pushing himself from the wall “I should think so” he nodded “It seems you’re already made some progress in controlling your magic” he agreed. It might not even be too bad helping the boy and it would give him something else to focus on… and who knew? Perhaps he would even be able to improve himself along the line. [[I'm not sure this is the right expression... but I hope you know what I mean...]]
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Post by plzkthnks on Aug 22, 2012 3:46:29 GMT 1
((It's ok, m'dear. It was fine. -nodnod- And I'm sorry I haven't posted, but considering you're at your friends anyway.. haha. I've been focusing on my new story today. I'll try to post tomorrow morning (my time), sometime, though, so if you've a chance to reply you can. -nodnod- Hope you're having fun!))
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Post by plzkthnks on Aug 22, 2012 16:09:27 GMT 1
Harry could tell that Malfoy was pleased by the subject change. It was practically written across his face and he realized, with a bit of a smile, that some of Malfoy's walls were still down. Either it was because he was beginning to trust Harry, or because he was too exhausted to put them back up. Harry certainly hoped it was the former, not the latter. He wasn't entirely sure why it mattered so much to him, suddenly, earning Malfoy's trust, but it did. And Harry tried not reading too much into it, if only for his own sanity.
"I should think so," Malfoy replied, pushing himself from the wall and nodding. "It seems you've already made some progress in controlling your magic."
Harry shrugged and gave Malfoy a half-smile. He decided to keep the fact that his reign of control had just started to himself, if only because he was unsure of the reasons behind it. Harry hoped this would be good for Malfoy, too. Yes, he wanted Malfoy to help him control his magic--and, if he thought about it, he hoped to help Malfoy loose control of his--or rather, be willing to use it. He wanted Malfoy to defend himself and he hoped that this would be a start.
"Would you like to start tomorrow, then?" Harry asked, sensing the other's exhaustion. "We could just read or something, for now--"
His eyes moved from the book shelf to the stray door.
"Or explore."
((OMG. I'm so sorry this is so.. eeek. It lacks description and it irritates me, but, it is what it is. My mind was literally drawing a blank. Maybe it's bad I'm focusing on that story.. haha.))
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